PASSAGES - EPISODE 4, ACT 5
Dec. 9th, 2007 05:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kashiwritesPrevious: Episode 4, Act 4
V. A) CLEARING IN THE WOODS. Moira, Karen, and the older woman stand in the central area with the others around them. The three central women are holding unlit candles. They walk around the altar until they form the three points of a triangle, facing inward. Now Moira lights her own candle from an altar candle.
MOIRA – Tonight we remember Patricia Vickery. She fulfilled many roles in this lifetime, and had a profound effect on many people. She was a friend and benefactress to people, as she participated in several charity and cultural organizations. She fulfilled the role of wife to her husband Arthur. But in honour of our dear companion, Ryan, we remember most of all her role of mother. She was privileged to bring four children into this world: Anastasia, Darcy, and that most sacred and mysterious phenomenon, the twins: Ryan and Kevin. (PAUSE. WITH AMUSEMENT.) How does it feel being a sacred phenomenon, Ryan?
RYAN – (LAUGHS A LITTLE) Rather trying at times. I hope there’s a little more to the sacred than Kevin and me.
MOIRA – (SMILES AND CONTINUES) Patricia gave all the love of a mother to her children. She raised and nurturedthem with affection and humour, teaching them to respect others and each other. She cared for each of her children in their own particular way, and she had a very special relationship with her son Ryan. She loved him very deeply and found in him a kindred soul. They were able to speak together of profound matters, and understood each other well. (PAUSE) Patricia the mother. The goddess as mother presided over her life in abundance, and love, and nurture. She was the source of life, and the moon was full.
OLDER WOMAN – But after the fullness comes the waning moon. (SHE LIGHTS HER CANDLE FROM MOIRA’S, AND MOIRA BLOWS HER OWN CANDLE OUT) The goddess as crone takes back all life into herself. And as all life reaches its fullness and then recedes, so Patricia Vickery’s life has returned to its source. We call this death, but we don’t mean darkness and oblivion. We merely have to observe the cycles of life to understand that death is rest, from labour and from growth. It is a time of replenishment. You might say, Ryan, that your mother is just taking a breather. (SHE SMILES AT HIM)
KAREN – (BRIGHTLY) Of course she is. Because – (SHE LIGHTS HER CANDLE FROM THE OLDER WOMAN’S, AND THE OTHER WOMAN BLOWS HER OWN CANDLE OUT) – after the waning and the dark of the moon, we know what happens: the rebirth and waxing of the moon. The goddess is also the maiden, who brings the lambs and the spring, and the budding flowers and the greening grass. It may be winter right now, Ryan, but spring is coming. We learn something else from watching the cycles of life. We learn that after the rest time, life returns and grows full again. So in a couple of months when the grass starts getting green and you start seeing tulips everywhere – remember that she’s coming back. Patricia Vickery is coming back.
We don’t know where, or who she’ll become. A few years from now, you could be walking through a mall and you bump into a young girl, and for a few seconds you’ll stare at each other, feeling like you’ve met somewhere before and you don’t know where. And she’ll be the maiden again, with bright eyes and a spring in her step. And her whole life will be ahead of her. (SHE SETS HER CANDLE ON THE ALTAR) And nobody’s blowing this candle out, because it’s all still to come. (SHE SMILES GENERALLY AT THE WHOLE GROUP, AND OSME OF THEM CHUCKLE)
RYAN – This is wonderful. Thank you – all of you – for coming tonight and doing the things you’ve done. I don’t think any of you really has any idea what it means to me that you’re here, sharing this with me. I felt pretty lonely at the memorial service yesterday.
CONNOR – We’re always here with you, Ryan. We’re all brothers and sisters, after all. You never have to be alone.
RYAN – Thank-you.
MOIRA – Is there any message you’d like to send to your mother, dear one, before we bid her a final farewell and close our evening?
RYAN – Well…just that I love her. And I wish I could have – (STOPS. SHRUGS UNCOMFORTABLY) I love her. That’s all. I hope she knows the rest.
MOIRA – She knows everything that’s important. And now…(SHE GESTURES TO THE OTHERS AND THEY FORM A CIRCLE AROUND HER) We remember Patricia Vickery. We thank her for the life she led, and for her contribution to our lives. And we bid her farewell now, as she embarks on the next stage of her journey. Go in peace, Patricia. (SOME OF THE OTHERS MURMUR, “GO IN PEACE.”)
RYAN – (WHISPERING, WITH BOWED HEAD) Good-bye, mother.
MOIRA – (PICKS UP SOME BREAD AND SPRINKLES CRUMBS ON THE GROUND. THEN SHE POURS OUT A FEW DROPS OF WINE.) We thank the Lord and Lady for their presence with us tonight, and for their blessings. And we ask that they honour us again when next we come together. Now let us close our circle and disperse.
(SHE HOLDS HER LEFT HAND AT WAIST LEVEL, PALM DOWN. AGAIN BEGINNING AT THE EAST, SHE WALKS SLOWLY AROUND THE CIRCLE UNTIL SHE REACHES THE PLACE WHERE SHE BEGAN. THEN SHE LETS HER HAND DROP.)
MOIRA – Good-night, children.
(EVERYONE SLOWLY BEGINS TO DISPERSE, GATHERING UP THEIR THINGS, CHATTING QUIETLY. DAWN AND RYAN WALK APART A LITTLE.)
DAWN – So. Do you feel a little better now?
RYAN – I suppose. It feels more complete now, anyway. I know she was a Catholic, but I’m so far from that that it just didn’t feel right. I guess I just wanted to say good-bye in the way I felt more comfortable.
DAWN – And have you? Said good-bye, I mean?
RYAN – Well…no, not yet. It’s only been four days, Dawn. That’s going to take a lot of time, if it’s possible at all.
DAWN – What do you mean?
RYAN – Oh… (SHRUGS) I don’t know. I’m just talking.
DAWN – I wonder.
RYAN – What?
DAWN – Come here. Sit down. (SHE PULLS HIM DOWN TO SIT ON A FALLEN TREE TRUNK)
RYAN – What? Is there something the matter?
DAWN – That’s what I’ve been wondering about you.
RYAN – What do you mean? Of course there’s something the matter, Dawn. My mother just…just… (LOOKS AWAY)
DAWN – I know she just passed on, Ryan. And I know you’re grieving, which is going to affect how you look at things for a while. But I’ve started thinking that there’s something more going on.
RYAN – I don’t know what you mean.
DAWN – You’re not just grieving. You’re really troubled by something.
RYAN – I think you’re imagining things, Dawn.
DAWN – Come on, Ryan. I know you pretty well by now. Do you think I can’t tell these things? There’s something really bothering you about your mother. I was hoping tonight might help you feel better. But it hasn’t, has it? Ryan?
RYAN – I…I don’t think I should talk about it.
DAWN – Keep it all inside, you mean? How long before you make yourself sick, doing that? And who are you going to talk to about it if you don’t talk to me?
(RYAN HESITATES ANOTHER LONG MOMENT)
RYAN – It’s just…
DAWN – What?
RYAN – I don’t know if I can ever really say good-bye to her. After what I…
DAWN – What? After what, Ryan?
RYAN – We… (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) We had a terrible fight.
DAWN – Oh no.
RYAN – Yes. Dawn, we never fought. Ever. But we did this time. It was really bad. I’ve never seen her like that before. So angry.
DAWN – What did you fight about?
RYAN – (LONG PAUSE) We fought about…this. (WAVES HIS HAND AT THE CLEARING)
DAWN – This…you mean our religion?
RYAN – Yes.
DAWN – How did she find out? What did she know? Ryan, that’s frightening.
RYAN – I don’t know how she found out. It scared me too. And she hardly knew anything, which was the whole problem. She started accusing me of all sorts of awful things. I tried to deny them and explain things, but she wouldn’t believe me. She demanded that I abandon all this, and go to the church and confess my sins… It was awful.
DAWN – I can’t even imagine.
RYAN – I told her I’d never leave my religion, and she just went crazy. Dawn, my mother never raised her voice to me. But she was…she was screaming at me, calling me evil, saying I was possessed! She was so afraid. She was afraid of me. I felt like she was tearing my heart out.
DAWN – Oh, my love. What did you do?
RYAN – I couldn’t do anything. There was no reasoning with her. So I just left. No, I didn’t just leave, I ran out of her room. I had to get away, I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with her. I was scared of how hysterical she was…and I was scared of how angry I was. I’ve never been so angry in my life! I was so afraid that I went walking, for hours and hours, to try to work it off…
DAWN – You should have come to me.
RYAN – I was afraid even to do that. I really wasn’t fit for human company that night, Dawn.
DAWN – So…after you went back home, did you talk to her again? Straighten things out?
RYAN – (STARES INTO THE WOODS) No.
DAWN – Why not?
RYAN – (PAIN BREAKING OVER HIS FACE) I got home in the middle of the night and went to bed. And the next morning, when we were all at breakfast, father came down and told us she…she was dead! Oh gods, my mother was dead, right after that horrible fight, and they won’t tell us how she died, and I don’t know – I don’t know – (BURIES HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, WEEPING)
DAWN – Ryan! Oh Ryan, I’m so sorry! (PULLS HIM INTO HER ARMS, HIS HEAD ON HER SHOULDER) My darling, I know this is terrible. But you can’t really think her death had anything to do with you? That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?
RYAN – I don’t know. Why won’t they tell us how she died?
DAWN – There could be hundreds of reasons, none of them connected to you. People fight all the time, you know, and it doesn’t kill them. I’m not trying to be callous. But this is just a huge, awful coincidence. You have to know that.
RYAN – I’m trying to believe it. I know it in my head. But that’s not how I feel, inside. I keep remembering how she looked, how angry she was, how afraid of me she was. How could she have been afraid of me, Dawn?
DAWN – I don’t know.
RYAN – And knowing that she died thinking all those awful things about me…the last thing she remembered about me being that fight…
DAWN – Ryan. Stop. You’ll drive yourself crazy, thinking of all that. I think you should talk to my mother about this. You need counseling, and I’m sure she can help.
RYAN – I suppose you’re right. I’ve felt like I was going nuts, the past few days.
DAWN – No wonder you wanted Kevin back so badly.
RYAN – I still need to talk to him. Although…(HESITATES) He said something reallyl strange this evening, when I wouldn’t tell him what kind of meeting I was going to.
DAWN – What did he say?
RYAN – He asked if we sacrificed babies. (DAWN GAPES AT HIM) I know. Very weird. I know he was just angry that I was walking out on him. But that was exactly the sort of thing mother was saying…
DAWN – Ryan, you’ve got to get your mind off all this. Why don’t you come back home with Connor and mom and me? Maybe even stay the night.
(RYAN LOOKS AROUND, REALIZES THEY’RE ALONE)
RYAN – You’re right. I need to think of something else. But I don’t want to go back to your place.
DAWN – What then?
RYAN – I want to stay here. Look – your mother left the candles on the altar. This is a sacred place. Stay and make love with me here, Dawn. In the sacred space in the woods, under the moon and the stars.
DAWN – (A LITTLE BREATHLESSLY) Like the Lord and the Lady.
RYAN – The god and the goddess communing.
DAWN – Yes…oh yes…
(RYAN STANDS AND LIFTS HER TO HER FEET. THEY STARE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES FOR A LONG MOMENT.)
RYAN – My lady…my goddess…you know I wouldn’t have lived through the past few days without you.
DAWN – I’ll always be here, beloved. Always. (THEY DRAW CLOSE) My beloved…my lover…don’t think of any of it now. Set it aside. Come into my arms and be safe tonight. (PULLS HIM INTO HER ARMS AND KISSES HIM)
RYAN – Dawn…
(THEY BEGIN TO KISS, AND SINK TO THE GROUND IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS, WHILE THE CANDLES BURN ABOVE THEM)
MOIRA – (SMILES AND CONTINUES) Patricia gave all the love of a mother to her children. She raised and nurturedthem with affection and humour, teaching them to respect others and each other. She cared for each of her children in their own particular way, and she had a very special relationship with her son Ryan. She loved him very deeply and found in him a kindred soul. They were able to speak together of profound matters, and understood each other well. (PAUSE) Patricia the mother. The goddess as mother presided over her life in abundance, and love, and nurture. She was the source of life, and the moon was full.
OLDER WOMAN – But after the fullness comes the waning moon. (SHE LIGHTS HER CANDLE FROM MOIRA’S, AND MOIRA BLOWS HER OWN CANDLE OUT) The goddess as crone takes back all life into herself. And as all life reaches its fullness and then recedes, so Patricia Vickery’s life has returned to its source. We call this death, but we don’t mean darkness and oblivion. We merely have to observe the cycles of life to understand that death is rest, from labour and from growth. It is a time of replenishment. You might say, Ryan, that your mother is just taking a breather. (SHE SMILES AT HIM)
KAREN – (BRIGHTLY) Of course she is. Because – (SHE LIGHTS HER CANDLE FROM THE OLDER WOMAN’S, AND THE OTHER WOMAN BLOWS HER OWN CANDLE OUT) – after the waning and the dark of the moon, we know what happens: the rebirth and waxing of the moon. The goddess is also the maiden, who brings the lambs and the spring, and the budding flowers and the greening grass. It may be winter right now, Ryan, but spring is coming. We learn something else from watching the cycles of life. We learn that after the rest time, life returns and grows full again. So in a couple of months when the grass starts getting green and you start seeing tulips everywhere – remember that she’s coming back. Patricia Vickery is coming back.
We don’t know where, or who she’ll become. A few years from now, you could be walking through a mall and you bump into a young girl, and for a few seconds you’ll stare at each other, feeling like you’ve met somewhere before and you don’t know where. And she’ll be the maiden again, with bright eyes and a spring in her step. And her whole life will be ahead of her. (SHE SETS HER CANDLE ON THE ALTAR) And nobody’s blowing this candle out, because it’s all still to come. (SHE SMILES GENERALLY AT THE WHOLE GROUP, AND OSME OF THEM CHUCKLE)
RYAN – This is wonderful. Thank you – all of you – for coming tonight and doing the things you’ve done. I don’t think any of you really has any idea what it means to me that you’re here, sharing this with me. I felt pretty lonely at the memorial service yesterday.
CONNOR – We’re always here with you, Ryan. We’re all brothers and sisters, after all. You never have to be alone.
RYAN – Thank-you.
MOIRA – Is there any message you’d like to send to your mother, dear one, before we bid her a final farewell and close our evening?
RYAN – Well…just that I love her. And I wish I could have – (STOPS. SHRUGS UNCOMFORTABLY) I love her. That’s all. I hope she knows the rest.
MOIRA – She knows everything that’s important. And now…(SHE GESTURES TO THE OTHERS AND THEY FORM A CIRCLE AROUND HER) We remember Patricia Vickery. We thank her for the life she led, and for her contribution to our lives. And we bid her farewell now, as she embarks on the next stage of her journey. Go in peace, Patricia. (SOME OF THE OTHERS MURMUR, “GO IN PEACE.”)
RYAN – (WHISPERING, WITH BOWED HEAD) Good-bye, mother.
MOIRA – (PICKS UP SOME BREAD AND SPRINKLES CRUMBS ON THE GROUND. THEN SHE POURS OUT A FEW DROPS OF WINE.) We thank the Lord and Lady for their presence with us tonight, and for their blessings. And we ask that they honour us again when next we come together. Now let us close our circle and disperse.
(SHE HOLDS HER LEFT HAND AT WAIST LEVEL, PALM DOWN. AGAIN BEGINNING AT THE EAST, SHE WALKS SLOWLY AROUND THE CIRCLE UNTIL SHE REACHES THE PLACE WHERE SHE BEGAN. THEN SHE LETS HER HAND DROP.)
MOIRA – Good-night, children.
(EVERYONE SLOWLY BEGINS TO DISPERSE, GATHERING UP THEIR THINGS, CHATTING QUIETLY. DAWN AND RYAN WALK APART A LITTLE.)
DAWN – So. Do you feel a little better now?
RYAN – I suppose. It feels more complete now, anyway. I know she was a Catholic, but I’m so far from that that it just didn’t feel right. I guess I just wanted to say good-bye in the way I felt more comfortable.
DAWN – And have you? Said good-bye, I mean?
RYAN – Well…no, not yet. It’s only been four days, Dawn. That’s going to take a lot of time, if it’s possible at all.
DAWN – What do you mean?
RYAN – Oh… (SHRUGS) I don’t know. I’m just talking.
DAWN – I wonder.
RYAN – What?
DAWN – Come here. Sit down. (SHE PULLS HIM DOWN TO SIT ON A FALLEN TREE TRUNK)
RYAN – What? Is there something the matter?
DAWN – That’s what I’ve been wondering about you.
RYAN – What do you mean? Of course there’s something the matter, Dawn. My mother just…just… (LOOKS AWAY)
DAWN – I know she just passed on, Ryan. And I know you’re grieving, which is going to affect how you look at things for a while. But I’ve started thinking that there’s something more going on.
RYAN – I don’t know what you mean.
DAWN – You’re not just grieving. You’re really troubled by something.
RYAN – I think you’re imagining things, Dawn.
DAWN – Come on, Ryan. I know you pretty well by now. Do you think I can’t tell these things? There’s something really bothering you about your mother. I was hoping tonight might help you feel better. But it hasn’t, has it? Ryan?
RYAN – I…I don’t think I should talk about it.
DAWN – Keep it all inside, you mean? How long before you make yourself sick, doing that? And who are you going to talk to about it if you don’t talk to me?
(RYAN HESITATES ANOTHER LONG MOMENT)
RYAN – It’s just…
DAWN – What?
RYAN – I don’t know if I can ever really say good-bye to her. After what I…
DAWN – What? After what, Ryan?
RYAN – We… (TAKES A DEEP BREATH) We had a terrible fight.
DAWN – Oh no.
RYAN – Yes. Dawn, we never fought. Ever. But we did this time. It was really bad. I’ve never seen her like that before. So angry.
DAWN – What did you fight about?
RYAN – (LONG PAUSE) We fought about…this. (WAVES HIS HAND AT THE CLEARING)
DAWN – This…you mean our religion?
RYAN – Yes.
DAWN – How did she find out? What did she know? Ryan, that’s frightening.
RYAN – I don’t know how she found out. It scared me too. And she hardly knew anything, which was the whole problem. She started accusing me of all sorts of awful things. I tried to deny them and explain things, but she wouldn’t believe me. She demanded that I abandon all this, and go to the church and confess my sins… It was awful.
DAWN – I can’t even imagine.
RYAN – I told her I’d never leave my religion, and she just went crazy. Dawn, my mother never raised her voice to me. But she was…she was screaming at me, calling me evil, saying I was possessed! She was so afraid. She was afraid of me. I felt like she was tearing my heart out.
DAWN – Oh, my love. What did you do?
RYAN – I couldn’t do anything. There was no reasoning with her. So I just left. No, I didn’t just leave, I ran out of her room. I had to get away, I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with her. I was scared of how hysterical she was…and I was scared of how angry I was. I’ve never been so angry in my life! I was so afraid that I went walking, for hours and hours, to try to work it off…
DAWN – You should have come to me.
RYAN – I was afraid even to do that. I really wasn’t fit for human company that night, Dawn.
DAWN – So…after you went back home, did you talk to her again? Straighten things out?
RYAN – (STARES INTO THE WOODS) No.
DAWN – Why not?
RYAN – (PAIN BREAKING OVER HIS FACE) I got home in the middle of the night and went to bed. And the next morning, when we were all at breakfast, father came down and told us she…she was dead! Oh gods, my mother was dead, right after that horrible fight, and they won’t tell us how she died, and I don’t know – I don’t know – (BURIES HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, WEEPING)
DAWN – Ryan! Oh Ryan, I’m so sorry! (PULLS HIM INTO HER ARMS, HIS HEAD ON HER SHOULDER) My darling, I know this is terrible. But you can’t really think her death had anything to do with you? That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?
RYAN – I don’t know. Why won’t they tell us how she died?
DAWN – There could be hundreds of reasons, none of them connected to you. People fight all the time, you know, and it doesn’t kill them. I’m not trying to be callous. But this is just a huge, awful coincidence. You have to know that.
RYAN – I’m trying to believe it. I know it in my head. But that’s not how I feel, inside. I keep remembering how she looked, how angry she was, how afraid of me she was. How could she have been afraid of me, Dawn?
DAWN – I don’t know.
RYAN – And knowing that she died thinking all those awful things about me…the last thing she remembered about me being that fight…
DAWN – Ryan. Stop. You’ll drive yourself crazy, thinking of all that. I think you should talk to my mother about this. You need counseling, and I’m sure she can help.
RYAN – I suppose you’re right. I’ve felt like I was going nuts, the past few days.
DAWN – No wonder you wanted Kevin back so badly.
RYAN – I still need to talk to him. Although…(HESITATES) He said something reallyl strange this evening, when I wouldn’t tell him what kind of meeting I was going to.
DAWN – What did he say?
RYAN – He asked if we sacrificed babies. (DAWN GAPES AT HIM) I know. Very weird. I know he was just angry that I was walking out on him. But that was exactly the sort of thing mother was saying…
DAWN – Ryan, you’ve got to get your mind off all this. Why don’t you come back home with Connor and mom and me? Maybe even stay the night.
(RYAN LOOKS AROUND, REALIZES THEY’RE ALONE)
RYAN – You’re right. I need to think of something else. But I don’t want to go back to your place.
DAWN – What then?
RYAN – I want to stay here. Look – your mother left the candles on the altar. This is a sacred place. Stay and make love with me here, Dawn. In the sacred space in the woods, under the moon and the stars.
DAWN – (A LITTLE BREATHLESSLY) Like the Lord and the Lady.
RYAN – The god and the goddess communing.
DAWN – Yes…oh yes…
(RYAN STANDS AND LIFTS HER TO HER FEET. THEY STARE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES FOR A LONG MOMENT.)
RYAN – My lady…my goddess…you know I wouldn’t have lived through the past few days without you.
DAWN – I’ll always be here, beloved. Always. (THEY DRAW CLOSE) My beloved…my lover…don’t think of any of it now. Set it aside. Come into my arms and be safe tonight. (PULLS HIM INTO HER ARMS AND KISSES HIM)
RYAN – Dawn…
(THEY BEGIN TO KISS, AND SINK TO THE GROUND IN EACH OTHER’S ARMS, WHILE THE CANDLES BURN ABOVE THEM)
Next: Episode 5
