kashiwrites (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
kashiwrites) wrote2007-12-01 04:38 pm
kashiwrites) wrote2007-12-01 04:38 pm
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NaNoWriMo 2007 (Sequel to 2005) - Anime-Style Story - Chapter 15
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
He decided he wouldn’t have to go far; Toshi would be sure to come to him, and he wouldn’t have to seek his cousin out. So he took himself to the gazebo for the last time, and sat waiting on the steps going up to the entrance. He hesitated for a moment as he approached the gazebo, remembering the phantom that had come out of it on his last visit. But the place was mercifully empty, so he had a few minutes to sit and watch the fountain, and listen to the music of the water.
He’d tweaked it enough, he thought. By now the play of the water was very realistic, and if you ran your hands through it, it would feel exactly like water being bounced around in a fountain. The occasional bird landing on the rim and singing was a nice touch, too, though he thought the loop was too short and needed more birds doing different things (like bathing in the fountain) before it started repeating.
Ah well. He wouldn’t be able to add to it now, so it would have to do. He had transferred ownership of it to Jin, so she could tweak it further if she wanted to.
He had also created a message for her, to be sent a couple of hours from now, when everything would all be over. It was very simple, and said only, “I’m sorry. Love you. Miaki.”
He hoped she wouldn’t be angry with him afterward. She might not be, but the others would for sure. Well, that couldn’t be helped either, could it? Still, it had been great to spend a last few hours with them, working on things, working so well together, the way they always had. They made a fantastic team, and he’d had the best times of his life with them. He hoped they’d remember that, eventually, and forgive him.
He hoped – but it was suddenly too late to hope for anything. He felt Toshi’s arrival first as a sort of tingling up his spine, as he realized that his cousin had appeared inside the gazebo behind him. And then he heard the soft voice: “So. I didn’t even have to do anything to get you to come in here this time. I’m surprised.”
Miaki stood, and turned around. “No,” he agreed. “You didn’t have to do anything. I decided it was time.”
Toshi regarded him suspiciously. “Time for what, exactly?”
Miaki smiled. “I think you know.”
“Lamb to the slaughter?” his cousin laughed. “Something like that?”
“Maybe. But which lamb? That’s the big question.”
Toshi snorted. “As if. There’s no question at all, actually. You couldn’t even kill Tanaka when he was right in front of you, after everything he’d done. You even stopped Kenji from doing it. The last thing you’ll ever have the guts to do is kill me.”
Miaki answered softly, “You might just be surprised. Cuz.”
For a moment, a spark of uncertainty flashed into Toshi’s eyes, but then the smile returned. “I would be. But I think I know you better. I know you better than anyone else in the world does.”
“That’s true.” Miaki managed to conceal the pang of grief and loss that went through him, and maintained his calm smile. “You always have. I’ve relied on that, more times than I can even remember. And I thought I knew you too. But it’s possible I was wrong about that. I wish I could go back and change things somehow, but....” He shrugged. “Too late now, I guess.”
“Oh yes,” Toshi answered softly. “Way too late, for everything.”
It shouldn’t ultimately matter, but the pain was so intense, he couldn’t help but ask. “Do you...really hate me, Tosh? Forgetting the virus and all that, if that’s even possible. Underneath everything, even underneath the effects of the virus...do you hate me?”
His cousin appeared to consider the question a moment, but then grinned maliciously. “Underneath the virus?” he scoffed. “There is no ‘underneath’ any more. I am the virus now, you idiot, haven’t you figured that out yet? You can give up whatever ideas you might have about ‘saving’ me. See how well I know you? I know that’s what you still hope to do. But whoever Toshi was before, he’s dead, and he’s not coming back. I’m all that’s left. And yes – I hate you. Of course I do, for all sorts of reasons. Want me to make a list?”
Miaki bowed his head. “No,” he murmured, “I can probably make the same list, so don’t bother. I guess I shouldn’t have asked.” He made himself look up and smile again. “So. Here I am. Maybe we should just get on with it, d’you think?”
Toshi smiled back, eyes glinting. “I’m already doing that, actually,” he said.
It was barely enough warning. Miaki felt himself grabbed from behind, as someone’s arm wrapped around his neck and the other slid around his waist. He heard the voice – “So glad to see you again” – and knew immediately what it was.
The phantom was stronger this time, and so was its voice; Toshi must have found more traces. The anguish at the sound of his father’s voice was as keen and devastating as before.
“Just hold still, son,” the voice said, so gentle in its solicitation. So loving. So false. “Hold still, because he told me he’s going to help you.”
And there was Toshi, leaping forward from inside the gazebo, hand raised, knife blade gleaming as Miaki’s hopeless eyes followed its rise and fall.
He had guessed right: when it came right down to the murderous act, the virus would make Toshi do it himself, and not rely on letting the network do it, as the firewall had jolted Akio. Toshi’s own energy glittered and sparked in that blade.
And so Miaki opened his arms, and offered no resistance as his cousin plunged the knife into his avatar. He screamed as the pain spread through him, as hot and agonizing as though a real knife had stabbed into his real-world body. Immediately he felt his mind trying to swirl away, saw his vision starting to blur, but he fought through the pain and fought against the oblivion engulfing him. He had to stay conscious, no matter what Toshi did to him, if there was to be any hope at all of saving him.
One hand twitched, activating the special program he had created for this moment. He felt himself falling backward under the force of the blow, the phantom of his father beneath him, and the knife still jutting from his chest. But as he fell, when the knife should have pulled loose from Toshi’s hand – it didn’t. It was as though his cousin’s hand was stuck to it, and it pulled him down with it.
The phantom flattened and faded as Miaki landed on his back on the path, Toshi on top of him. He saw Toshi’s astonishment and concern turn into consternation as he tugged at the knife, trying to let go of it.
“What – what’s going on!” he cried. He tried to push himself up to his knees, but Miaki wrapped his arms around him, holding him locked in an inextricable embrace.
Miaki managed a faint smile, despite the pain. He could feel the energy flowing into him – no, not flowing – being sucked into him. The program was drawing it in, absorbing it through the knife. He could feel the infection entering his body, like a black oil slick sinking into his pores, thickening his blood.
“Damn you!” Toshi hissed. “You’re not going to take me with you, you bastard! I’ll kill you before you get me – I swear – “
He began to twist the knife, slicing into Miaki’s chest, changing the angle every time, so that if this had been the real world, his cousin’s heart and lungs and other organs would have been slashed to bloody ribbons.
The pain was excruciating – not just the pain of the knife, but the terrible black burning of the infection itself, blazing through every limb, filling his mind with rage and darkness. Miaki let himself scream, writhing on the path, sobbing out all the agony and anguish of the last few weeks, all the despair – he screamed out his pain until it drowned everything out, the bird song, the sound of the water, Toshi’s enraged shouting – everything.
He had no idea that even in the real world, sitting at the VR desk, he had begun to scream and thrash around in his chair, while his friends could do nothing but watch in horror.
The program that he’d intertwined into his logged on identity, and protected from interference by every means possible, continued to pull the dark, infected energy into him. And in its stead, it pulled his own energy out, thrusting it through the connection between his and Toshi’s avatars, binding itself to the DNA-like structure inside Toshi. It pushed into him, driven inexorably inward by the rote functioning of the program. That had been crucial – that the program function on its own once it was triggered, not relying on Miaki for control. He knew he might not be capable of that kind of action.
Keep pushing, Miaki thought, almost the only coherent though he could muster through the wall of pain that gripped him. Keep pushing, long enough to free him. It felt like all the life force was being bled out of him. But as long as Toshi was freed, it wouldn’t matter if the program didn’t have time to restore Miaki’s life energy and clear him of the virus too. Just free Toshi – get the stuff out of him – clean him out, rewrite the way his I.D. was constructed – and log him off. That, too, had been arranged, for the instant he was free. If Miaki could only hold on – could only stay alive long enough – could only stay strong enough to keep the virus from flowing backwards –
They were both screaming now. Despite all his effort, Miaki could feel the darkness tightening around him. No, oh no, oh no, please don’t let it all be in vain – don’t let the virus backtrack and re-infect Toshi! Hang on – just a bit longer – almost finished – just hang on –
Toshi reared up above him with a gasp, and at last managed to get to his knees and sit up. His hand came free of the knife.
Miaki saw him blink, and recognize where he was. Saw him notice the knife in his cousin’s chest, saw the horror burst across his face. Heard the terrible scream, “Noooooooooo!”
And then he winked out. He was free of the virus. He was out of the system.
Miaki sagged in relief. It was done. Toshi was safe now. That was all that mattered.
But the program continued its work relentlessly. He felt it begin to re-assert his DNA pattern within his own login identity. Felt the hot intensity as it burned, burned through every part of him. Felt as though his skin were being flayed, and his bones turned to ash inside his body.
He rolled over and over and over on the path, shrieking in agony, as his whole being was scoured. He felt the knife disintegrate as the last trace of infection vaporized. And in one final convulsion, he felt the program fulfill its final task, racing through the system and into the simulations folder, blasting the eight infected sims – and the virus nodes – completely out of existence.
He felt his body – his real body – lying on the floor between the chair and the terminal cubicle. He should pull off his goggles and try to sit up. But he couldn’t seem to move of his own volition, his body racked by tremors, the pain in his chest still sharp and burning. A painful tingling, like tiny electric shocks, raced up and down all his limbs, as though the feeling were returning after he’d slept on them and made them numb.
“Help – “ he managed to gasp. “Help – me – “
But now somebody was there. He felt their hands lifting him into a sitting position and drawing him into an embrace, as other hands gently pulled the goggles away from his head, and tugged off the gloves and boots. He couldn’t stop shaking.
Chika was holding him in her arms, and as he focused, slowly, he saw the goggles in Jin’s hands as she knelt beside him, with Julie and Kenji on the other side.
“Damn you, Miaki,” Julie began, “what the hell were you thinking, locking us out like that – “
“Julie, stop,” Chika chided her. “Let’s see how he’s doing before we yell at him.”
Miaki focused on Julie’s face. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Sorry – but Toshi. He – he’s okay. You – you need to check. Go see. He should – be okay now.”
Julie’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? You really think he’s all right?”
He managed a nod. “Yes – go see. Make sure. He…needs you. All of…you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Chika said, “until I know you’re okay. But Julie, Kenji, why don’t you go? They’ll need to know what happened, anyway.”
“What did happen, Miaki?” Julie asked, more softly than she’d spoken before.
“I…DNA…inoculated him with my…own DNA. Got it out of him. Then…logged him off. Zapped the sims…with the nodes.”
“How did you get anywhere near him with your DNA?”
He smiled painfully. “Toshi…stabbed me. Made a…conduit.”
“Miaki!” Kenji cried. “He stabbed you? Then we need to get you to a doctor too!”
“No. No, I’m okay.” Miaki took a deep breath and made a supreme effort to clench his hands and try to stop them from shaking. He put them on the floor beside him, and pushed himself to a sitting position, free of Chika’s support. He smiled over his shoulder at her. “I’m getting better. Slowly, but…better. Thanks.”
“Did you know,” she demanded, “that you were actually screaming and flopping around in your chair, while you were online?”
His eyes widened. “Seriously?” He bit his lip. “Well. That’s unexpected. Of course, it was pretty…intense.” He touched his hand absently to his chest, then yanked his shirt open to check. “Not even a red mark,” he murmured. “I kind of expected… But anyway. I’m feeling better. And I really think Toshi’s going to want to see you. He needs you to tell him he’s not a bad person because the virus took him over like that.”
“Miaki,” Jin put in gently. “He needs you to tell him that.”
He closed his eyes, looking away. “I know. I will. Later, when we’re feeling better. But like I said, it got pretty…intense just before I logged him out. If he remembers…I don’t know if it would be good for us to see each other till we’ve got a little more stamina. If he asks…you can tell him I love him, and I’m not angry about any of it. But…I need a little time too. So please…will you go? All of you? I can get to my room on my own.”
“The rest of them will go,” Jin said. “But I’ll walk you to your room. You still look pretty shaky, so I’ll go with you in case you need a shoulder along the way.”
He nodded, and after they’d helped him to his feet, he wryly agreed that he did need some help walking after all. Jin pulled his arm around her shoulders, and put her arm around his waist, and as the other three headed to the other VR room, she guided Miaki toward his own room.
He sat heavily on the edge of his bed, his hand again straying to the place on his chest where the knife had pierced him.
“What can I get you?” Jin asked softly, standing before him.
He gazed up at her. “I don’t need anything,” he murmured. “Everything is okay now. I don’t need anything, now that Toshi is…” He swallowed hard. “Jin. Toshi’s free. I…I got him out.”
“I know you did. You did a wonderful thing, Miaki,” she said. Impulsively she leaned forward and pulled him against her, hugging him tightly. “You,” she whispered, “are the best person I’ve ever known.”
“Am I?”
He lifted his head and looked at her again, and she was struck by the sadness in his eyes. Just like last night, she thought with a pang. “I know he made you feel very bad,” Jin murmured, “but it was the virus talking. Nothing he said was true. You have to remember that.”
“I’ll try,” he nodded. “But right now…” He sighed. “You know, Jin…I think I would like to see the doctor after all. Not urgently, but…when he’s done checking Toshi over, I wonder if he’d come here. Could you go and ask him for me?”
She hesitated. He just looked so sad. “Why don’t I send a message,” she began, but he shook his head.
“You know everyone’s going to be so busy, and talking so much, now that Toshi’s better. It’ll probably be faster if you just walk over, and ask the doctor yourself. Do you mind?”
Jin touched his dark hair, smiling at the reddish glints that sprang up as her fingers moved. “All right,” she agreed. “I’ll go. Will you be okay?”
“I’m going to be fine,” Miaki said. “I promise. And so is Toshi. And…so are all of you. I promise.”
Again her fingers moved. His hair was soft under her hand. She sighed. “All right, Miaki. I’ll do what you want.” She made as if to leave, but then turned back. Repeating his own action of a few hours ago, she cupped a hand under his chin, and leaned down to kiss him softly on the lips. Gazing into his dark eyes, she whispered gently, “Be well, my dear.”
She walked back toward the VR room, not looking back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
She found the room in a quiet uproar. Keiko was crying in relief and happiness, sitting with Takumi on the cot beside their son’s stretcher. The doctor was doing a thorough check of Toshi’s condition, sitting on the cot on the other side. Toshi kept rolling his eyes back to look at his three friends, smiling weakly.
Chika murmured as Jin came in, “He really seems to be okay. Really worn out, but the doctor doesn’t think there’s been any damage that Tosh can’t recover from.”
“He got him out just under the wire,” Julie said, “but he made it. I’m so happy, Jin!” She shared a smile with Kenji. Jin noted that they were holding hands, and thought wryly that Akio was probably going to be disappointed.
Toshi had seen her now, his head upturned. He couldn’t beckon her over, one hand encased in his mother’s, and the other being held by the doctor, who was taking his pulse. But she recognized the appeal in his eyes, and moved to stand at the doctor’s shoulder.
“Hi there,” she said.
“Where is he? Is he okay?” Toshi demanded immediately. Of course those would be his first questions.
“He’s fine,” she smiled. “He needed to rest, but he’ll be all right. How are you?”
“Starving,” he said fervently. “You’re sure he’s okay?”
“Yes. Now that he knows you’re better, he’s going to be fine. So don’t worry.”
She was, she thought, a rather good actress. She was just as good, about half an hour later, when she and Chika accompanied the doctor back to Miaki’s dormitory room. She acted as surprised as they were, when the doctor used his “override” code on the keypad and they entered the room to find it empty. And when, a few minutes after that, they realized that Miaki’s personal things had been taken from his room, and Mr. Woon discovered that a shuttle had been taken and its settings hacked so that they couldn’t discover the location it had flown to – Jin acted as aghast and horrified as the rest of them.
But she’d known, even before she’d left his room, that he had sent her away so he could go. She had seen the exhaustion and the pain in his eyes, and realized in a flash of sympathy and grief that he had been hurt more deeply than any of them had ever suspected. She didn’t know exactly what had done it – she suspected it had been something that had happened in the last 24 hours. But it had become clear to her, even talking to him for a few minutes, that he was going to need time and probably solitude, if he was going to heal.
And of course there was the element that his enemy had struck at him once, through someone he loved, and might find a way to try again, using his friends against him. He probably couldn’t endure the thought, and was determined to get away from them, to keep them safe. It was exactly the sort of thing he would do. It was why she loved him.
So she pretended she had no idea what had happened, as everyone searched fruitlessly through the school, and as Mr. Woon did everything he could think of, to trace the shuttle. Even when it came back empty, a few hours later, with all its records erased, he kept trying. But Jin suspected he knew as well as she did that if Miaki Nakamura did not want them to find him, they weren’t going to.
Finally, the next day, she decided that after a good night’s sleep, it was time Toshi was told. They’d been protecting him for the first day, and he’d had to sleep anyway. But he would soon notice that something was wrong, and he would need one of his good friends to tell him.
And so it was that she visited sick bay, where he’d been moved, just after breakfast on the morning after he’d been rescued from the network. She smiled at his parents, who still hadn’t left his side, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Toshi,” she said, taking his hand, “I have something to tell you.”
He had also created a message for her, to be sent a couple of hours from now, when everything would all be over. It was very simple, and said only, “I’m sorry. Love you. Miaki.”
He hoped she wouldn’t be angry with him afterward. She might not be, but the others would for sure. Well, that couldn’t be helped either, could it? Still, it had been great to spend a last few hours with them, working on things, working so well together, the way they always had. They made a fantastic team, and he’d had the best times of his life with them. He hoped they’d remember that, eventually, and forgive him.
He hoped – but it was suddenly too late to hope for anything. He felt Toshi’s arrival first as a sort of tingling up his spine, as he realized that his cousin had appeared inside the gazebo behind him. And then he heard the soft voice: “So. I didn’t even have to do anything to get you to come in here this time. I’m surprised.”
Miaki stood, and turned around. “No,” he agreed. “You didn’t have to do anything. I decided it was time.”
Toshi regarded him suspiciously. “Time for what, exactly?”
Miaki smiled. “I think you know.”
“Lamb to the slaughter?” his cousin laughed. “Something like that?”
“Maybe. But which lamb? That’s the big question.”
Toshi snorted. “As if. There’s no question at all, actually. You couldn’t even kill Tanaka when he was right in front of you, after everything he’d done. You even stopped Kenji from doing it. The last thing you’ll ever have the guts to do is kill me.”
Miaki answered softly, “You might just be surprised. Cuz.”
For a moment, a spark of uncertainty flashed into Toshi’s eyes, but then the smile returned. “I would be. But I think I know you better. I know you better than anyone else in the world does.”
“That’s true.” Miaki managed to conceal the pang of grief and loss that went through him, and maintained his calm smile. “You always have. I’ve relied on that, more times than I can even remember. And I thought I knew you too. But it’s possible I was wrong about that. I wish I could go back and change things somehow, but....” He shrugged. “Too late now, I guess.”
“Oh yes,” Toshi answered softly. “Way too late, for everything.”
It shouldn’t ultimately matter, but the pain was so intense, he couldn’t help but ask. “Do you...really hate me, Tosh? Forgetting the virus and all that, if that’s even possible. Underneath everything, even underneath the effects of the virus...do you hate me?”
His cousin appeared to consider the question a moment, but then grinned maliciously. “Underneath the virus?” he scoffed. “There is no ‘underneath’ any more. I am the virus now, you idiot, haven’t you figured that out yet? You can give up whatever ideas you might have about ‘saving’ me. See how well I know you? I know that’s what you still hope to do. But whoever Toshi was before, he’s dead, and he’s not coming back. I’m all that’s left. And yes – I hate you. Of course I do, for all sorts of reasons. Want me to make a list?”
Miaki bowed his head. “No,” he murmured, “I can probably make the same list, so don’t bother. I guess I shouldn’t have asked.” He made himself look up and smile again. “So. Here I am. Maybe we should just get on with it, d’you think?”
Toshi smiled back, eyes glinting. “I’m already doing that, actually,” he said.
It was barely enough warning. Miaki felt himself grabbed from behind, as someone’s arm wrapped around his neck and the other slid around his waist. He heard the voice – “So glad to see you again” – and knew immediately what it was.
The phantom was stronger this time, and so was its voice; Toshi must have found more traces. The anguish at the sound of his father’s voice was as keen and devastating as before.
“Just hold still, son,” the voice said, so gentle in its solicitation. So loving. So false. “Hold still, because he told me he’s going to help you.”
And there was Toshi, leaping forward from inside the gazebo, hand raised, knife blade gleaming as Miaki’s hopeless eyes followed its rise and fall.
He had guessed right: when it came right down to the murderous act, the virus would make Toshi do it himself, and not rely on letting the network do it, as the firewall had jolted Akio. Toshi’s own energy glittered and sparked in that blade.
And so Miaki opened his arms, and offered no resistance as his cousin plunged the knife into his avatar. He screamed as the pain spread through him, as hot and agonizing as though a real knife had stabbed into his real-world body. Immediately he felt his mind trying to swirl away, saw his vision starting to blur, but he fought through the pain and fought against the oblivion engulfing him. He had to stay conscious, no matter what Toshi did to him, if there was to be any hope at all of saving him.
One hand twitched, activating the special program he had created for this moment. He felt himself falling backward under the force of the blow, the phantom of his father beneath him, and the knife still jutting from his chest. But as he fell, when the knife should have pulled loose from Toshi’s hand – it didn’t. It was as though his cousin’s hand was stuck to it, and it pulled him down with it.
The phantom flattened and faded as Miaki landed on his back on the path, Toshi on top of him. He saw Toshi’s astonishment and concern turn into consternation as he tugged at the knife, trying to let go of it.
“What – what’s going on!” he cried. He tried to push himself up to his knees, but Miaki wrapped his arms around him, holding him locked in an inextricable embrace.
Miaki managed a faint smile, despite the pain. He could feel the energy flowing into him – no, not flowing – being sucked into him. The program was drawing it in, absorbing it through the knife. He could feel the infection entering his body, like a black oil slick sinking into his pores, thickening his blood.
“Damn you!” Toshi hissed. “You’re not going to take me with you, you bastard! I’ll kill you before you get me – I swear – “
He began to twist the knife, slicing into Miaki’s chest, changing the angle every time, so that if this had been the real world, his cousin’s heart and lungs and other organs would have been slashed to bloody ribbons.
The pain was excruciating – not just the pain of the knife, but the terrible black burning of the infection itself, blazing through every limb, filling his mind with rage and darkness. Miaki let himself scream, writhing on the path, sobbing out all the agony and anguish of the last few weeks, all the despair – he screamed out his pain until it drowned everything out, the bird song, the sound of the water, Toshi’s enraged shouting – everything.
He had no idea that even in the real world, sitting at the VR desk, he had begun to scream and thrash around in his chair, while his friends could do nothing but watch in horror.
The program that he’d intertwined into his logged on identity, and protected from interference by every means possible, continued to pull the dark, infected energy into him. And in its stead, it pulled his own energy out, thrusting it through the connection between his and Toshi’s avatars, binding itself to the DNA-like structure inside Toshi. It pushed into him, driven inexorably inward by the rote functioning of the program. That had been crucial – that the program function on its own once it was triggered, not relying on Miaki for control. He knew he might not be capable of that kind of action.
Keep pushing, Miaki thought, almost the only coherent though he could muster through the wall of pain that gripped him. Keep pushing, long enough to free him. It felt like all the life force was being bled out of him. But as long as Toshi was freed, it wouldn’t matter if the program didn’t have time to restore Miaki’s life energy and clear him of the virus too. Just free Toshi – get the stuff out of him – clean him out, rewrite the way his I.D. was constructed – and log him off. That, too, had been arranged, for the instant he was free. If Miaki could only hold on – could only stay alive long enough – could only stay strong enough to keep the virus from flowing backwards –
They were both screaming now. Despite all his effort, Miaki could feel the darkness tightening around him. No, oh no, oh no, please don’t let it all be in vain – don’t let the virus backtrack and re-infect Toshi! Hang on – just a bit longer – almost finished – just hang on –
Toshi reared up above him with a gasp, and at last managed to get to his knees and sit up. His hand came free of the knife.
Miaki saw him blink, and recognize where he was. Saw him notice the knife in his cousin’s chest, saw the horror burst across his face. Heard the terrible scream, “Noooooooooo!”
And then he winked out. He was free of the virus. He was out of the system.
Miaki sagged in relief. It was done. Toshi was safe now. That was all that mattered.
But the program continued its work relentlessly. He felt it begin to re-assert his DNA pattern within his own login identity. Felt the hot intensity as it burned, burned through every part of him. Felt as though his skin were being flayed, and his bones turned to ash inside his body.
He rolled over and over and over on the path, shrieking in agony, as his whole being was scoured. He felt the knife disintegrate as the last trace of infection vaporized. And in one final convulsion, he felt the program fulfill its final task, racing through the system and into the simulations folder, blasting the eight infected sims – and the virus nodes – completely out of existence.
He felt his body – his real body – lying on the floor between the chair and the terminal cubicle. He should pull off his goggles and try to sit up. But he couldn’t seem to move of his own volition, his body racked by tremors, the pain in his chest still sharp and burning. A painful tingling, like tiny electric shocks, raced up and down all his limbs, as though the feeling were returning after he’d slept on them and made them numb.
“Help – “ he managed to gasp. “Help – me – “
But now somebody was there. He felt their hands lifting him into a sitting position and drawing him into an embrace, as other hands gently pulled the goggles away from his head, and tugged off the gloves and boots. He couldn’t stop shaking.
Chika was holding him in her arms, and as he focused, slowly, he saw the goggles in Jin’s hands as she knelt beside him, with Julie and Kenji on the other side.
“Damn you, Miaki,” Julie began, “what the hell were you thinking, locking us out like that – “
“Julie, stop,” Chika chided her. “Let’s see how he’s doing before we yell at him.”
Miaki focused on Julie’s face. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Sorry – but Toshi. He – he’s okay. You – you need to check. Go see. He should – be okay now.”
Julie’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? You really think he’s all right?”
He managed a nod. “Yes – go see. Make sure. He…needs you. All of…you.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Chika said, “until I know you’re okay. But Julie, Kenji, why don’t you go? They’ll need to know what happened, anyway.”
“What did happen, Miaki?” Julie asked, more softly than she’d spoken before.
“I…DNA…inoculated him with my…own DNA. Got it out of him. Then…logged him off. Zapped the sims…with the nodes.”
“How did you get anywhere near him with your DNA?”
He smiled painfully. “Toshi…stabbed me. Made a…conduit.”
“Miaki!” Kenji cried. “He stabbed you? Then we need to get you to a doctor too!”
“No. No, I’m okay.” Miaki took a deep breath and made a supreme effort to clench his hands and try to stop them from shaking. He put them on the floor beside him, and pushed himself to a sitting position, free of Chika’s support. He smiled over his shoulder at her. “I’m getting better. Slowly, but…better. Thanks.”
“Did you know,” she demanded, “that you were actually screaming and flopping around in your chair, while you were online?”
His eyes widened. “Seriously?” He bit his lip. “Well. That’s unexpected. Of course, it was pretty…intense.” He touched his hand absently to his chest, then yanked his shirt open to check. “Not even a red mark,” he murmured. “I kind of expected… But anyway. I’m feeling better. And I really think Toshi’s going to want to see you. He needs you to tell him he’s not a bad person because the virus took him over like that.”
“Miaki,” Jin put in gently. “He needs you to tell him that.”
He closed his eyes, looking away. “I know. I will. Later, when we’re feeling better. But like I said, it got pretty…intense just before I logged him out. If he remembers…I don’t know if it would be good for us to see each other till we’ve got a little more stamina. If he asks…you can tell him I love him, and I’m not angry about any of it. But…I need a little time too. So please…will you go? All of you? I can get to my room on my own.”
“The rest of them will go,” Jin said. “But I’ll walk you to your room. You still look pretty shaky, so I’ll go with you in case you need a shoulder along the way.”
He nodded, and after they’d helped him to his feet, he wryly agreed that he did need some help walking after all. Jin pulled his arm around her shoulders, and put her arm around his waist, and as the other three headed to the other VR room, she guided Miaki toward his own room.
He sat heavily on the edge of his bed, his hand again straying to the place on his chest where the knife had pierced him.
“What can I get you?” Jin asked softly, standing before him.
He gazed up at her. “I don’t need anything,” he murmured. “Everything is okay now. I don’t need anything, now that Toshi is…” He swallowed hard. “Jin. Toshi’s free. I…I got him out.”
“I know you did. You did a wonderful thing, Miaki,” she said. Impulsively she leaned forward and pulled him against her, hugging him tightly. “You,” she whispered, “are the best person I’ve ever known.”
“Am I?”
He lifted his head and looked at her again, and she was struck by the sadness in his eyes. Just like last night, she thought with a pang. “I know he made you feel very bad,” Jin murmured, “but it was the virus talking. Nothing he said was true. You have to remember that.”
“I’ll try,” he nodded. “But right now…” He sighed. “You know, Jin…I think I would like to see the doctor after all. Not urgently, but…when he’s done checking Toshi over, I wonder if he’d come here. Could you go and ask him for me?”
She hesitated. He just looked so sad. “Why don’t I send a message,” she began, but he shook his head.
“You know everyone’s going to be so busy, and talking so much, now that Toshi’s better. It’ll probably be faster if you just walk over, and ask the doctor yourself. Do you mind?”
Jin touched his dark hair, smiling at the reddish glints that sprang up as her fingers moved. “All right,” she agreed. “I’ll go. Will you be okay?”
“I’m going to be fine,” Miaki said. “I promise. And so is Toshi. And…so are all of you. I promise.”
Again her fingers moved. His hair was soft under her hand. She sighed. “All right, Miaki. I’ll do what you want.” She made as if to leave, but then turned back. Repeating his own action of a few hours ago, she cupped a hand under his chin, and leaned down to kiss him softly on the lips. Gazing into his dark eyes, she whispered gently, “Be well, my dear.”
She walked back toward the VR room, not looking back, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
She found the room in a quiet uproar. Keiko was crying in relief and happiness, sitting with Takumi on the cot beside their son’s stretcher. The doctor was doing a thorough check of Toshi’s condition, sitting on the cot on the other side. Toshi kept rolling his eyes back to look at his three friends, smiling weakly.
Chika murmured as Jin came in, “He really seems to be okay. Really worn out, but the doctor doesn’t think there’s been any damage that Tosh can’t recover from.”
“He got him out just under the wire,” Julie said, “but he made it. I’m so happy, Jin!” She shared a smile with Kenji. Jin noted that they were holding hands, and thought wryly that Akio was probably going to be disappointed.
Toshi had seen her now, his head upturned. He couldn’t beckon her over, one hand encased in his mother’s, and the other being held by the doctor, who was taking his pulse. But she recognized the appeal in his eyes, and moved to stand at the doctor’s shoulder.
“Hi there,” she said.
“Where is he? Is he okay?” Toshi demanded immediately. Of course those would be his first questions.
“He’s fine,” she smiled. “He needed to rest, but he’ll be all right. How are you?”
“Starving,” he said fervently. “You’re sure he’s okay?”
“Yes. Now that he knows you’re better, he’s going to be fine. So don’t worry.”
She was, she thought, a rather good actress. She was just as good, about half an hour later, when she and Chika accompanied the doctor back to Miaki’s dormitory room. She acted as surprised as they were, when the doctor used his “override” code on the keypad and they entered the room to find it empty. And when, a few minutes after that, they realized that Miaki’s personal things had been taken from his room, and Mr. Woon discovered that a shuttle had been taken and its settings hacked so that they couldn’t discover the location it had flown to – Jin acted as aghast and horrified as the rest of them.
But she’d known, even before she’d left his room, that he had sent her away so he could go. She had seen the exhaustion and the pain in his eyes, and realized in a flash of sympathy and grief that he had been hurt more deeply than any of them had ever suspected. She didn’t know exactly what had done it – she suspected it had been something that had happened in the last 24 hours. But it had become clear to her, even talking to him for a few minutes, that he was going to need time and probably solitude, if he was going to heal.
And of course there was the element that his enemy had struck at him once, through someone he loved, and might find a way to try again, using his friends against him. He probably couldn’t endure the thought, and was determined to get away from them, to keep them safe. It was exactly the sort of thing he would do. It was why she loved him.
So she pretended she had no idea what had happened, as everyone searched fruitlessly through the school, and as Mr. Woon did everything he could think of, to trace the shuttle. Even when it came back empty, a few hours later, with all its records erased, he kept trying. But Jin suspected he knew as well as she did that if Miaki Nakamura did not want them to find him, they weren’t going to.
Finally, the next day, she decided that after a good night’s sleep, it was time Toshi was told. They’d been protecting him for the first day, and he’d had to sleep anyway. But he would soon notice that something was wrong, and he would need one of his good friends to tell him.
And so it was that she visited sick bay, where he’d been moved, just after breakfast on the morning after he’d been rescued from the network. She smiled at his parents, who still hadn’t left his side, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Toshi,” she said, taking his hand, “I have something to tell you.”